Oh, it’s the hardest thing sometimes, isn’t it.
I was asked recently to dream some dreams and come up with some big ideas for a new project. No problem! I said. And really, it’s no problem, not at all. My head is always full of new ideas.
The thing is, I’ve come up with an idea so comprehensively huge it’s scaring me. I’m not sure I want to be in charge of an idea potentially this big.
But… maybe this idea wants me to make it happen.
Here’s another thing. In the process of dreaming this idea up, and in the research, I’ve discovered that there’s a circus group who are calling for creatives – and artists? – to train and then volunteer with them for a couple of weeks in refugee camps in Europe this Autumn, bringing play and laughter and creativity to the children living there.
It’s been pulling at my heart.
In so many ways, not least political, I want to go and help. But… why would they want – me? What can I possibly bring? I can’t spin a plate or dance and I know no circus skills. Could I do it? Would they laugh at me?
But… I can draw and paint, I’m good at being silly, in a quiet sort of way, I adore children and I smile a lot.* I could do art, for sure. Would that be enough do you think?
I’m trying to believe I could do it, terrifying as it feels. I’m going to email them for more information, and see what they say.
Scary things often come two at once.
*This should really be the first line of my CV.