Past caring

life drawing woman illustration

Drawn from life. A good way to escape.


I finally made it home with the heavy rucksack, in the 31 degree heat (it’s back!), after a convoluted logistical procedure*, swopping bags and waving daughter off on a school adventure weekend.

My t shirt was drenched in sweat. I held my wrists under the cold kitchen tap. Eldest son came in and started to tell me his social arrangements for the next 48 hours. It was a never-ending list of parties (pirate themed – rum will surely be involved), lunches, parks, girlfriends, packing for holidays, last minute get togethers, 18th birthday celebrations and flights to France.

My brain was starting to melt with all the information. I need a spreadsheet to retain all this stuff. I’ve had enough today of running this whole show solo. And it’s so hot, and teenagers are nocturnal, and I haven’t slept, not properly, for about two weeks.

All that OK? eldest son asked.

Yeah, I murmured, not really listening, moving to fridge, opening it.

Next son came in, same thing – his plan was days at the open air pool, hanging out on the South Bank**, fixing Meghan’s bike for her, the downhill mountain bike world cup on TV and some riding in the forest.

The fridge was cold, and nice. I reached in and held a bottle of wine cool against my cheek.

Did you get all that, Mummy?

Yeah, of course, sounds good, glancing at the clock – 4.30pm – what the heck, taking down a glass, pouring. It would be nice to be the one doing all the stuff, not just facilitating it. No cares in the world! No responsibilities! Yes, how nice it would be. And my purse has become a teenager’s ATM since the end of exams (a double dose of GCSEs and A levels – it’s been fairly hard work round here for months).***

What’s for tea?

I don’t know, just drag something out of the fridge, I said, drifting barefooted into the parched garden, glass – and bottle – in hand.

It’s Friday. I’m past caring.****


*Which would, of course, been easier if I could have driven it!
**What lucky kids they are. London is their playground.
***Though to be fair to them, they do a lot of paid babysitting jobs too.


I know this picture doesn’t really match. You know what, I’m past caring! I did it on Monday at life drawing. It’s a bit like this other one, actually, which incidentally I also posted on a very hot day. Stay with me. I’m usually cooler than this 🙂


4 Comments on “Past caring

  1. Past caring yes but perhaps that’s what creative geniuses do past caring they create something amazing, I appreciate your art and your writing to the extent of being a Fan and that is because the innocence and genuineness is so overwhelming in your work, ( I am sure that must be a trait of your person ). Please enjoy your tea too . ( smiles ).

    • Ah thanks! It is all 100% me! Although people often question whether that’s really the case. Only this week I was asked that twice – is my work/web presence a ‘persona’ I’ve constructed, or is it actually me? I can tell you, it’s all actually me. It’s a shame in a way when people have to question if I’m ‘fake’. Is it wise to be so innocent on the internet, or in doing business – I don’t know. But I can’t seem to be anything else, and I don’t want to change. 🙏🏼

      • Why should you change. As far as people are concerned its an irony that if it is something positive and good and creative they doubt it and ask ! Ah are you really intelligent or genuinely creative or something on the same lines, or is it a persona you portray and I at the cost of politeness ask them back, that sir for me to portray being intelligent and creative etc. etc. have to make more effort than being really being one, and I am not really that much bothered and a lil too lazy to do it.
        So pls do not change! Its beautiful the way you are. Cheers.

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