Bodies

self portrait trudi murray

Intense webcam selfie.

 

What beautiful things they are.

I love drawing them, and I love watching them move and dance and play and sleep. I love what they can do, how strong they can be and yet how tender; how they grow and change and reflect our selves* and the weirdness and beauty of living inside one.

 

I’m so good at admiring the beauty of bodies, and yet still not always comfortable in my own. Sound familiar? The kindness and encouragement we bestow on our friends we often fail to apply to ourselves. Though I am really learning to be kind to myself – being suddenly ill taught me that. There’s always a silver lining.

But being ill also got me involved with doctors and hospitals, who were skilled at getting me better in a scary emergency. Now the alarm has passed, but they’ve been giving me continuing tests to investigate further.

And now I fear I have a decision to make, and one I do not want.

I wish it would go away. There are no good options, to my mind.

And my body is not their property.

It’s mine!

 

*Especially eyes. I love eyes.

 

9 Comments on “Bodies

  1. I wish you luck and the intended best possible outcome of your decision.

    • Thanks Alexius! I’ll be fine, I’m sure. God bless you too. Thanks for your encouragements.

  2. I hope you get well. And your eyes are probably beautiful shining stars 🙂

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