Is there any need to look at me this way?
I think, if you look deeply into your dark and moody soul, you will discover that I have only ever given you wise counsel.
Eat: this healthy food I provide. Drink: this tap water, or the finest the wheelbarrow has to offer, whichever. Sleep: on YOUR bed, not mine. Climb trees: there are plenty out there, just over the fence. Be kind to your little sister. Don’t fight. She is mostly downtrodden, nervous and unsure, and still feels her lowly position as the last of the litter, even though I love her the same as you (if not more, some days, truth be told, the reasons for which will soon become clear).
Do not eat: cheese, chocolate, frogs, or the ribbon from the birthday balloon.
Especially not the ribbon.
I know I’ve told you before about the ribbon. Remember?
There’s no need to look at me this way.
All things will pass. And until they do, dear cat, we’ll just have to sit tight and hope for the best.